T-to-the-A

Posts Tagged ‘Fun’

Cell-Pic-Fun

In The Daily Drool on May 11, 2010 at 10:41 am

Alright, I’ve taken a few silly pics on my new Droid (LOVE IT!!!)  and kept forgetting to upload ’em…

Cat-in-the-Box

I don’t know what it is about cats and boxes, but put the two in a room and it won’t be but a moment before they’ve merged.  Midnite loved this side-ways box so much that she growled at me when I took it away.  Not the “I’m gonna’ eat you alive” growl, but the “You kind of suck right now and I might ignore you for the rest of my life… or until I forget what I’m upset about which could take – Hey!  Did you see that bird out there?!” kind.

This is my dad in my side-view mirror following me to the tire store… Nothing says “Don’t lie to me, tire guy!” like a grumpy biker.  Car update 2,097, btw?  BACK IN THE SHOP… and I’m falling a little too eagerly in love with the loaner they gave me – a brand new Subaru Forrester.  Nothing quite hits home just how crappy your own car is than to be sitting pretty in something you can’t afford.  (sigh)

Awwww!  It’s a Road Runner… sitting on a fence.  Awwww!

A blurry, softy, sunset pic… One thing about AZ skies: They really light up.  I remember when I was younger the big seller at all the AZ tourist shops were these thin sand and water devices… You’d turn them over and an air bubble inside would make sure the sand drifted slowly, painting this beautiful sunset desert landscape.  It really is pretty enough here that people loved the idea of bringing a little interactive version of it home with them.  Now, if we could just do something about this damned wind…

What can I say?  When the Hamm-it-UP mood strikes…    I found this carazy rubber grill glove in our massive (too massive) Fry’s Grocery-and-Everything-Else store.  After posing for 4 minutes while my mom tried to figure out how to use my cell’s camera (without turning me into a hundred blurry pixels) I decided that the unpleasantly clammy feeling inside the glove was definitely NOT worth the cool rubber index finger and exciting ribbing design.

This is the avery at the hotel we stayed at in Pheonix.  I can’t but look at it without hearing a little voice squawking… “Pigeon Date, May 9, 2010.  It’s been 547 days and we STILL haven’t managed to dig our way out.  Lacking opposable thumbs, I can see why the plan was doomed from the start.  Frankie and Johnny have taken up a petition to start pelting the pooper-scooper guy everytime he comes in, but our meager tools (birdseed and feces) seem only to amuse him.  The Cat, that vixenish night-prowler, continues to taunt me… sing-songing ‘You’ll never get past these vicious little claws!’ ”

There’s a children’s story in there somewhere… but I’m afraid my current state of mind would be to infer that it’s better on the inside where the food and fresh water comes to you.

And that, my friends, is all for today…

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Borrowed Truths

In The Daily Drool on April 18, 2010 at 9:24 am

I didn’t write this, but I feel like I did…

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue-Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

20. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

21. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

22. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said? ‘

23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an A-hole from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

24. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

25. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

26. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far..

27. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers. and they’re all bigger idiots than me!

28. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Deja-Deux

In The Daily Drool on April 15, 2010 at 9:38 am

I’m going to devote this blog post to the past… er, the present… future?

Because there were a moment or two this weekend where it all kind of dovetailed into one infinite blob.

I’m sitting on a stool, in a restaurant in my home town- a restaurant that I’ve eaten at before (although not in the bar, which is where I am now) –  And there’s tasty food in front of me, a bubbly drink in my hand, and a very familiar face staring back at me from across the table – a face with which I once kept great company.  We’re playing catch-up after way too long, and there’s a moment when he says something funny and I laugh, just really laugh, and I feel all the lines disappearing, shaken off by the giggles – the age peeling away, the weight on my shoulders melting, melting, melting… running down my shoulder blades to land in a puddle at my feet.

Because for a moment I felt eighteen again.

It was as though I was relieved of the old, tired me and in her stead was left a young optimist, totally convinced in the just and harmonic nature of the universe, un-sullied by LA’s gritty, cold, sobering paws.

As though for a millisecond the past and present had merged and taken me along for the ride.

And I laughed some more.

But then I caught a glimpse of my hands, with all those little creases they didn’t used to hold… and I looked at that familiar face across the way –  It’s older too.

And I remembered my worries… I remembered my life…  I stopped looking at my hands, and I took another drink of my beer.

And do you know what it told me?

“You think too much, you find too many things to worry about, and you aren’t old (or crazy) enough to be hearing voices in your beer!”

… maybe I was drunk enough

The point is/was/may someday be – I’m back home in older (and hopefully wiser) skin… and it’s weird.

And fun…

But still totally weird.

Because there’s been a lot of activity on the path to here… a lot of living and adventuring.  To catch a glimpse of oneself within, to feel those eager young eyes looking at the world again, even for a moment… is something I neither expected nor know how to interpret.

And maybe if it only happened that once… but it showed up again Monday night at my Uncle’s birthday party.   We were all sitting around, my family and this same friend from the past, and some of my brother’s friends from way back, and I slipped right back there again… back into a strange sort of deja’vu soup of young Tiffany and this one, of family/friends Then and Now.  Things feeling familiar AND new…

Perhaps “returning home” holds more for me than just geography…  I guess we’ll find out.

Meanwhile, past or present, this girl needs breakfast.  Happy Thursday!

Driving home at Midnight with no one else on the Road

In The Daily Drool on April 11, 2010 at 9:19 am

Yesterday was a busy one- I started the day with a tall glass of apple juice and some oatmeal, and headed off for a fun meeting at the Prescott Fine Arts Association where (if all goes well) I’ll be teaching some workshops.  I’m really looking forward to it.  Grabbed lunch with a friend and then it was time to pick up miss Irma (my lovely Hyundai) from the repair shop.  Let’s just all hope and pray that this is the last time she’ll be in there for a loooooong time.  I got home just in time to get myself looking decent for dinner with a long time friend- someone I haven’t seen in (as we figured it) almost 5 years!!!  Unbelievable!

And we had a blast!

Dinner was great, we had tons to catch up on, and he still looks the same, which seems totally unfair, but hey, maybe I don’t look THAT much older myself… maybe.

Anyway, dinner and drinks,then my brother and his girlfriend joined us at the local hot spot, The Raven.  (Oh, I’m going to conquer my old stomping grounds and then some!) and we laughed ourselves silly all the way to last call.

Which was at midnight.

Because this is not LA.

And so there I was, heading home after this lovely day full of unexpected fun, with nary a soul on the road between downtown and home… and that was lovely too.  This long, quiet ride with stars above (because you can actually see them here) and the place seemingly all to myself as the world silently looked on.

What a great day.

Cat-log

In The Daily Drool on April 7, 2010 at 10:45 am

Day 5

The Humans keep looking at me and making kissy faces like they think it will make everything better.  Don’t they know I don’t have time to for circus tricks?   We’re in enemy territory here, extra vigilance is required at all….  Did you hear that?

Ahh, landscapers.

Okay then.

Where was I?

Oh yes,VIGILANCE!  Not to be mistaken for vigilantes… although some hard and fast cummupance is what’s waiting on the other side of my door if these country cats try to step in unnanounced.  I mean, you look at me, and you look at orange-face, and who’s got the upper hand?  Him?  Because he’s all cutesy, wide-eyed and wouldn’t know his own growl if it met him in the sandbox?  NO.  You can’t be running around fraternizing with the enemy – you’ve got to keep your hackles up, learn to growl while your walking into a room and then plop down like you own it.  Size helps.

I’m huge.

I’m telling you, I don’t know what The Human was thinking bringing us here, but she seems totally oblivious to the danger.  These cats are watching us, they’re crafty, and the little one even smelled my tush without permission!

And I see them, wagging their human claws at me with little tsk, tsks dribbling from their naked lips- the hypocrisy!  When just the other day I saw the Hairy One make The Human move out of his favored spot.  And they say we’re territorial!   I’m just trying to stake out some boundaries… a little place of my own.  Is that too much to ask?

Ahhh, Man!  There Orangey goes again!  Frolicking about with the little cat like they were kittens.  Do I have to do EVERYTHING myself?

Sorry kids, gotta go bust up the party.  It’s Real World time, and these hippie dreamers need some Black Ops training.

Midnite, OUT!

Penis Straw

In The Daily Drool on March 26, 2010 at 10:46 am

Yes, you read that correctly.  Here’s the deal: last night was my dear friend Nicky’s Bachelorette party.  Now, Nicky is doing it up big this year, not only is she marrying her best friend and long time love, but they’re also having a baby!  So, with baby bump leading the way, we couldn’t do anything that got us into too much trouble… or so I thought.

The night began with riotous giggles over the hilarious Mac-A-Weenie pasta (Last time this little culinary magic made its appearance was at JJ’s bachelorette party.  She got a box of the stuff as a gag, and apparently put it in her pantry.   About three months after that, while making pasta salad for our Thanksgiving pot luck, she ran out of noodles and decided, out of sheer necessity,  to use the box of penis pasta.  A good male friend of mine at the party was really digging the flavor until he looked closer and sputtered a little something like this “Mmm, yeah, everything is really goo- what is that?  Is that…That looks like a c*ck.   What kind of macaroni salad is this?”  Well played, JJ, well played!) 

We also had a blast with the penis tattoos, everyone had to stick one on- cleavage, shoulder, FACE.  Yes, my bestest friend forever and ever, put hers on her cheek.  This is just one of the many reasons I love that girl!  She’s got balls.  Literally.  Right there on her face.

Anyway, the night was a big success, and we all laughed our pretty little a$$es off. 

But then there were the straws…  the glow-in-the-dark penis-shaped straws (with, I’m afraid to say, some fairly unshapen balls) that we drank our sangria from.  Yes, it was ridiculous, yes it was fun, yes it took me a drink or two before I could actually bring myself to use it… but use it I did – and then grab them we did, as we took ourselves, and our straws, to the piano bar and fresh drinks down the way. 

And this bar…  it was rife, no, make that RIFE, with pups… “I just turned 21”  kind of pups.  We were like cougars-in-training, and we got hit on ALL NIGHT LONG.  Now, how about that for ego boost?  10 years older than everyone in the bar, and still drawing ’em in like flies.  It was fantastic. 

We drank our new drinks with our special straws, and laughed when the guy talking to Nicky thought her wedding ring and baby bump were sexy enough to lean in even closer.  It was grand.

Only, I didn’t drink my new drink with my special straw because I couldn’t find it – thinking it had sunk to the nether reaches of that bottomless-pit I call a purse, or else fallen out on the walk over – I sipped from the glass like a, well, like a lady.

Then this morning (and here’s where all of this pays off)  I had a meeting with two older gentleman on a project I am writing.  I had a meeting in which I needed to take notes.  I had a meeting in which I had to rummage through the bottomless-pit-I-call-a-purse for a pen, and damn if that little punk-ass bit of leather and mystery didn’t spit the Penis Straw right out on the table where it bounced not just once, but twice, and then did a little spin before clattering to the hard-wood floor.

Glow-in-the-dark penis-straw at our feet.

Try explaining that. 

Just T-R-Y!

The Fountain of Youth

In The Daily Drool on March 19, 2010 at 10:54 am

Jelly Fish… are they the secret Watchers of the universe?  A million little brains floating out there at sea, observing, learning…. LIVING FOREVER!

At least, that’s what I’m inferring from the latest news on their regenerative properties.  Seems it’s been discovered that a certain kind of the mushy-sea-dwellers has figured out how to revert back to it’s polyp stage, grow up and old, and revert all over again.  Can you imagine the possibilities?

“I ran into Harold the other day, told him he was getting a little gray around the temples?  Well next thing I know he was squeezing his eyes shut and thinking real hard and then PLOP, he reverted.  Right there on the sidewalk!  Little screaming baby drowning in his old-man suit. Of course I had to scoop him up, drop him off at one of the depositories.  Damned fool couldn’t even wait till he was home to revert!”

What about Grandma, sitting in her moth-ball mansion… everyone standing around her bed, lovingly, as she REVERTs back to infant and Mom and Dad scoop her up, taking her home with smiles and retributive thoughts…  “We’ll see who likes too much sugar on their cereal in the morning, now!”

And ugh, the agony of puberty, over and over and over again?  Even with all the knowing… all the mental progression possible with a brain two hundred years old… to still have to go back through the Ugly and Awkward Gauntlet?  Yech!

Which begs the question, what would become of our brains?  Living forever, would we become smarter?  Humbler?  Would we look out on this world with more care and love and guardianship than any of our currently small life-span allows?  Would we be better people?

And finally, are jellyfish the brains of the ancients?  Reduced to a sack of membranous folds, drifting in the waters, keeping watch… tortured by the severe waste we tend to make of our fortunate legs, arms, and bodies?  Do they lust after our bodies, only to be disgusted by how we squander them?

Well, Jelly Fish, today I march up and down steps for you… I stretch for you… I drink my morning tea, for YOU.   Today, Jelly Fish of the Eternal, you may rest easy on the waves, for I will enjoy this body in your honor.

TIME?!

In Photography, The Daily Drool on March 15, 2010 at 1:02 pm

Today is a busy, busy day… one where I don’t have a lot of time to play or to write, or to do anything, really, because my brother is in town and I want to go see him and be playful, instead of plotting and planning, and “Doing things I’m supposed to do”  Like pack…

So I’m giving in.

And I’m not going to spend a lot of time here as a result… but I will include a few fun pics I’ve turned out this week (by way of some awesome models and some fun props)  for your enjoyment!

CAPTION ME!!!

SURPRISE!!

In The Daily Drool on February 22, 2010 at 1:07 pm

Last night my friends turned “Writer’s Karaoke” into a Surprise party, and knocked my perky little socks off.

This is what I’m talking about when I say that I have made some amazing friends out here, friends that I love and appreciate and who make me feel safe even amidst all the craziness.

And they are super crafty too.

I knew that Jacob had sent an invite to the cast of Jane Doe because it inadvertently got sent to me (I didn’t read it because I got a text message telling me not to, but I did see the subject line).  But I did NOT think that he had contacted everyone I had told I was leaving!  Walking into the bar and seeing so many faces that I wasn’t expecting to 1- see at all, or 2- see together, was very overwhelming and sent me into a bit of a spin.

A happy spin.

The kind that made me want to go back and re-live it when I woke up this morning.

It’s true that love can hurt, but people are what make this life worth living- the love that you share with friends and family really is all you need!

Because they will always have a place for you to lay your head and get your feet under yourself again.  They will hug you and hold you tight and they will remind you that even though you’re scared, they are there to help you get through it.

And that is more valuable than all the diamonds and gold and time-shares in the world…

So thank you, Los Angeles, for introducing me to these wonderful, beautiful people.

And thank you to my amazing friends for the awesome surprise.  🙂

Mugwort-Tiffany-Tea

In The Daily Drool on February 15, 2010 at 1:38 pm

Leafy eartheness danced across my nose, bouncing among the echoes of the stone-rimmed-bowl, followed by a hint of seaweed – that afternoon’s soup -seeping from my skin, looking to escape the boiling vat of tea I had stepped into as though there were anywhere else to be but pulsing through my skin, my cells… I took another deep breathe, feeling the beads on my forehead forming where before there had been none.

I’d oft wondered what it would feel like to climb into my tea-cup.

Turns out, it’s hot and delicious.

Such was the magic of yesterday’s impromptu Valentine’s day.  My dear, generous, friend Mary Jo whisked me away to the Olympic Day Spa where, for $15 (!) you too can while away the hours amidst jacuzzi tubs filled with mugwort tea, oxygen rooms so warm you can literally feel the toxins squirming as they evaporate from your skin, and a warm jade floor to snuggle against when, at the thought of another dip, steam, or rub, you decide instead that you need to take a nap.

Of course, they have all sorts of bonus treatments that you can treat yourself to -massages, body scrubs, some where they do both and then wash your hair! – and they’re not that expensive really, in the world of spa treatments.

But lets step away from the goodies for a second and talk about the loveliness of a room full of bodies, each one different in all the ways they can be – young, old, big, small, tattooed, pierced – each one of these women shedding the worry of walking around sans clothes for the sake of enjoying the Korean baths.

There is something ancient and clear about this, this communal undress- a sort of safe-haven for the women.  There we were, sitting around a pool scrubbing away at our tired skin, scrubbing one another’s backs, far away from the troubles only a few feet of concrete and glass away.  And the beauty of not worrying about anything as silly as dress or hair care… removed from the decorations that keep us “protected” and formal… was astounding!  We were all just a bunch of women who needed a little escape.

I found the experience incredibly refreshing and connecting – like I had discovered a tiny, revolving, community within the oft impersonal LA sprawl.  And I smiled, in the Mugwort tub – a large jacuzzi filled with herbs and such that help detoxify the body and relax the spirit – I smiled at this little mysterious land of peace and quiet and water.

I think this was my best Valentine’s day ever.