T-to-the-A

Posts Tagged ‘friends’

Deja-Deux

In The Daily Drool on April 15, 2010 at 9:38 am

I’m going to devote this blog post to the past… er, the present… future?

Because there were a moment or two this weekend where it all kind of dovetailed into one infinite blob.

I’m sitting on a stool, in a restaurant in my home town- a restaurant that I’ve eaten at before (although not in the bar, which is where I am now) –  And there’s tasty food in front of me, a bubbly drink in my hand, and a very familiar face staring back at me from across the table – a face with which I once kept great company.  We’re playing catch-up after way too long, and there’s a moment when he says something funny and I laugh, just really laugh, and I feel all the lines disappearing, shaken off by the giggles – the age peeling away, the weight on my shoulders melting, melting, melting… running down my shoulder blades to land in a puddle at my feet.

Because for a moment I felt eighteen again.

It was as though I was relieved of the old, tired me and in her stead was left a young optimist, totally convinced in the just and harmonic nature of the universe, un-sullied by LA’s gritty, cold, sobering paws.

As though for a millisecond the past and present had merged and taken me along for the ride.

And I laughed some more.

But then I caught a glimpse of my hands, with all those little creases they didn’t used to hold… and I looked at that familiar face across the way –  It’s older too.

And I remembered my worries… I remembered my life…  I stopped looking at my hands, and I took another drink of my beer.

And do you know what it told me?

“You think too much, you find too many things to worry about, and you aren’t old (or crazy) enough to be hearing voices in your beer!”

… maybe I was drunk enough

The point is/was/may someday be – I’m back home in older (and hopefully wiser) skin… and it’s weird.

And fun…

But still totally weird.

Because there’s been a lot of activity on the path to here… a lot of living and adventuring.  To catch a glimpse of oneself within, to feel those eager young eyes looking at the world again, even for a moment… is something I neither expected nor know how to interpret.

And maybe if it only happened that once… but it showed up again Monday night at my Uncle’s birthday party.   We were all sitting around, my family and this same friend from the past, and some of my brother’s friends from way back, and I slipped right back there again… back into a strange sort of deja’vu soup of young Tiffany and this one, of family/friends Then and Now.  Things feeling familiar AND new…

Perhaps “returning home” holds more for me than just geography…  I guess we’ll find out.

Meanwhile, past or present, this girl needs breakfast.  Happy Thursday!

The Fun-Time-Hangover

In The Daily Drool on April 13, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I’ve always suffered a day of the blues after any really fun event… as though the regular world is left less sparkly in comparison.  I don’t know why I’m like this, but I do remember feeling as though Thornton Wilder really nailed it when he let poor little Emily have another glimpse at her past after she’s died and the sheer fleeting beauty of it all sent her reeling.

Sometimes I even get overwhelmed by the joy as it’s happening, all too aware that it will eventually come to an end.

Well, this weekend wasn’t anything too riotous, but I did get to spend a lot of time with my family and some old friends, laughing, eating, drinking and just enjoying life.  It was like a little mini vacation for the soul.  And today, as I return to reality and look around once more at the uncertainty I’m swimming in, I just want to crawl back to “then” and laugh it up some more instead.

And while I sincerely hope there are many more of these times ahead, I can’t help but fret over the enormity of the blank, open-endedness in front of me.  Have I made good decisions?  Am I going to make good choices as I proceed ahead?  Will I ever know the feeling of gainful employment again?  Is a loving awesome partnership on its way towards me, or have I completely lost all faith in such things?  I’m not going to wind up a cat lady, am I?  When will I begin again to feel some semblance of balance?

Because I want more of the good times and less of these “ordinary” days built of confusion and anxiety…

Driving home at Midnight with no one else on the Road

In The Daily Drool on April 11, 2010 at 9:19 am

Yesterday was a busy one- I started the day with a tall glass of apple juice and some oatmeal, and headed off for a fun meeting at the Prescott Fine Arts Association where (if all goes well) I’ll be teaching some workshops.  I’m really looking forward to it.  Grabbed lunch with a friend and then it was time to pick up miss Irma (my lovely Hyundai) from the repair shop.  Let’s just all hope and pray that this is the last time she’ll be in there for a loooooong time.  I got home just in time to get myself looking decent for dinner with a long time friend- someone I haven’t seen in (as we figured it) almost 5 years!!!  Unbelievable!

And we had a blast!

Dinner was great, we had tons to catch up on, and he still looks the same, which seems totally unfair, but hey, maybe I don’t look THAT much older myself… maybe.

Anyway, dinner and drinks,then my brother and his girlfriend joined us at the local hot spot, The Raven.  (Oh, I’m going to conquer my old stomping grounds and then some!) and we laughed ourselves silly all the way to last call.

Which was at midnight.

Because this is not LA.

And so there I was, heading home after this lovely day full of unexpected fun, with nary a soul on the road between downtown and home… and that was lovely too.  This long, quiet ride with stars above (because you can actually see them here) and the place seemingly all to myself as the world silently looked on.

What a great day.

Gross, Gross, Gross

In The Daily Drool on April 6, 2010 at 9:03 am

In all of the moving frenzy, I forgot to revel you with tales of my roomate’s bathroom.

First, let me just issue an apology to any and all who have had to use it.  Roomie had the hall bathroom, the one that guests were always directed to with a careful “Sorry if it’s a bit messy, it’s my roomate’s…” because in order to get to mine, you’d have to navigate my cluttered bedroom, and I didn’t really like the idea of people (even those I love) chancing upon my delicates or unkept bed.  Anyway, I would always kind of peek in there, and try to do a little clean up around the sink area, and drop off fresh hand towels when people were stopping by.  However, I know I wasn’t always an A-1 super-star maid.

Well, last weekend I found out just how bad it was.

Because I had to clean the apartment by myself (roomie was off to a new job far, far away) So I started with my bathroom and really gave it the scrubdown, which it totally needed, and then moved into roomie’s bathroom – the sink and mirror area weren’t too awful, but the floor around the toilet?  Absolutely never been cleaned (other than the couple of times I had cleaned it for parties) And the shower?!  (Insert horror music here)  The SHOWER was absolutely overtaken with rust-colored crud in the tile crevices… the shower doors hadn’t ever seen clean… it was like looking into bathroom hell.

I had to scrub each and every grouted line in that shower with bleach and a toothbrush.

It took forever.

I’m still not recovered.

There is just something so much worse about having to clean up somebody else’s slime and fur.  Yech!

So, keep up on your cleaning.  Don’t fall behind.  And never, ever, leave it for someone else to do!

A little sugar to go with that panic

In The Daily Drool on April 3, 2010 at 9:36 pm

Wow.  So I moved.

Yeah.

Let’s breathe.

I’ve got all sorts of catching-you-up to do, so let’s start with a little hallelujah to the Apple wo/man for fixing up my cyber-baby.  It’s been a sweet, sweet reunion.  Going without her for a week, and such a tumultous one at that, was painstaking.  Mac does things differently, and she does them just the way I like.  PC is like talking to grandpa- you have to shout and thump his pace-maker every couple minutes to keep the conversation going.

And on the topic of family, my dad and his wild buddy of too-many-years-to-count drove over to LA, braving what they term “The Land of Crazies” to help move me and my stuff.  They were heroic and it completely exhausted them (they ain’t no spring chickens) and I’m quite sure the next move will require some fresh goodwill from elsewhere (did I mention they ain’t no spring chickens?) but I definitely couldn’t have done it without them.

Nor could I have done without the valiant efforts of several sweet and wonderful friends- Corwin, Perry, Jim, Carolyn, Alex, Doc… you were amazing and your help made all the difference.  I’d love to tell you all about “The Things that Corwin Saw” but perhaps I can get him to write his own blog post about it.  Suffice to say, the man went through my junk drawer for me.  You never really know a person till you’ve seen their junk drawer… plus he did the spice cabinet where he unearthed a “Shake and Bake graveyard” populated with an abundance of lemon pepper.  He also dismantled my PC set-up, helped me carry out my delicates and didn’t even flinch when, upon lifting my mattress for loading, uncovered my gun.  Corwin, my dear, you could write chapters.

Perry, oh Perry, who braved the uninvited adoration of my dad’s loud friend- you went through my cabinets, salvaging food, helped carry things I probably should have tossed, and spent considerable time on the phone trying to get a donation truck to my door, all while shouting out cheers and goodwill.  You were awesome, and kind, and I’m so very thankful you shared your afternoon with me and my tired bones.

Jim and Carolyn, I may have had to put down my end of the desk twenty five times for want of ANY muscle left at all, but you helped me carry it, and then you helped some more.  Thank you for your multiple trips to the dumpster, and to Jim for helping me slap that first coat of “I-knew-I-was-going-to-have-to-repaint-those-red-walls-but-I-didn’t-think-it-would-suck-quite-so-hard” white paint.  It took three coats, but the first one went up the quickest because of you.  Thank you, thank you, thanks 🙂

Then Alex!  Alex who flew in from NY for in for a West Coast visit with friends, took a chance that I might still be in LA and brought Thai food over for a last-apartment-supper… Alex who helped me load the final baskets and the basketed kitties into my car for our late-night crash-session at Doc’s and then followed with the borrowed vacuum that just wouldn’t fit in my car… you were a total bonus surprise to my crazy LA departure!

And Doc… where can I even begin?  These past three months or so have been some of the most taxing I’ve been through (and considering what I’ve been through the past year and half, that’s saying something)  It seems that at every turn there have been new challenges- emotional, psychological, and financial- You have been here for me in the most supporting of ways, whether to listen to me rant, or just whisk me away to a movie- and I would NOT be feeling anywhere near as sane as I do if it weren’t for your generous spirit.  Thank you, my dear, dear friend!  What a blessing you are!

In fact, this past year has delivered many such blessings of friendship… it seems that just when I needed it most, the people in my life rallied around me to make me laugh, to remind me that I am loved, and to help me feel safe.  It is amazing that in this world of so many distractions, it really is the people in your life that define your worth.  I may have an angry checking account and screaming credit card bills, but I am truly rich with family that believes in me enough to say “Yes, come home, write!” and friends who find the time and spare change to take me out to tea when I’m re-using my own tea bags for want of a paycheck.  I have always had a hard time asking for help, I hate to appear weak or in need, but these past few months I have had little choice but to accept the grace being shown me, and it has made all the difference in the world.

And to that end, I would just like to say thank you to each and every one of you who have helped me not just with the move, but this past year.  I love you all so very much.

Penis Straw

In The Daily Drool on March 26, 2010 at 10:46 am

Yes, you read that correctly.  Here’s the deal: last night was my dear friend Nicky’s Bachelorette party.  Now, Nicky is doing it up big this year, not only is she marrying her best friend and long time love, but they’re also having a baby!  So, with baby bump leading the way, we couldn’t do anything that got us into too much trouble… or so I thought.

The night began with riotous giggles over the hilarious Mac-A-Weenie pasta (Last time this little culinary magic made its appearance was at JJ’s bachelorette party.  She got a box of the stuff as a gag, and apparently put it in her pantry.   About three months after that, while making pasta salad for our Thanksgiving pot luck, she ran out of noodles and decided, out of sheer necessity,  to use the box of penis pasta.  A good male friend of mine at the party was really digging the flavor until he looked closer and sputtered a little something like this “Mmm, yeah, everything is really goo- what is that?  Is that…That looks like a c*ck.   What kind of macaroni salad is this?”  Well played, JJ, well played!) 

We also had a blast with the penis tattoos, everyone had to stick one on- cleavage, shoulder, FACE.  Yes, my bestest friend forever and ever, put hers on her cheek.  This is just one of the many reasons I love that girl!  She’s got balls.  Literally.  Right there on her face.

Anyway, the night was a big success, and we all laughed our pretty little a$$es off. 

But then there were the straws…  the glow-in-the-dark penis-shaped straws (with, I’m afraid to say, some fairly unshapen balls) that we drank our sangria from.  Yes, it was ridiculous, yes it was fun, yes it took me a drink or two before I could actually bring myself to use it… but use it I did – and then grab them we did, as we took ourselves, and our straws, to the piano bar and fresh drinks down the way. 

And this bar…  it was rife, no, make that RIFE, with pups… “I just turned 21”  kind of pups.  We were like cougars-in-training, and we got hit on ALL NIGHT LONG.  Now, how about that for ego boost?  10 years older than everyone in the bar, and still drawing ’em in like flies.  It was fantastic. 

We drank our new drinks with our special straws, and laughed when the guy talking to Nicky thought her wedding ring and baby bump were sexy enough to lean in even closer.  It was grand.

Only, I didn’t drink my new drink with my special straw because I couldn’t find it – thinking it had sunk to the nether reaches of that bottomless-pit I call a purse, or else fallen out on the walk over – I sipped from the glass like a, well, like a lady.

Then this morning (and here’s where all of this pays off)  I had a meeting with two older gentleman on a project I am writing.  I had a meeting in which I needed to take notes.  I had a meeting in which I had to rummage through the bottomless-pit-I-call-a-purse for a pen, and damn if that little punk-ass bit of leather and mystery didn’t spit the Penis Straw right out on the table where it bounced not just once, but twice, and then did a little spin before clattering to the hard-wood floor.

Glow-in-the-dark penis-straw at our feet.

Try explaining that. 

Just T-R-Y!

TIME?!

In Photography, The Daily Drool on March 15, 2010 at 1:02 pm

Today is a busy, busy day… one where I don’t have a lot of time to play or to write, or to do anything, really, because my brother is in town and I want to go see him and be playful, instead of plotting and planning, and “Doing things I’m supposed to do”  Like pack…

So I’m giving in.

And I’m not going to spend a lot of time here as a result… but I will include a few fun pics I’ve turned out this week (by way of some awesome models and some fun props)  for your enjoyment!

CAPTION ME!!!

Not Ready, NOT READY!

In The Daily Drool on March 3, 2010 at 1:24 pm

Friends show their affection in different ways; Hugs, bottles of wine, late night gab sessions, sometimes they even help you pack (ahem)  – but the strangest of all these displays has to be the “Fix-Up.”

I mean, here you have someone telling you that they like you so much that they want to help you find love.  They think so much of you and your happiness, that they become positively giddy at the thought of setting you up with So-and-So (usually a friend of a friend) who they just thought would be “Just PERFECT for you!”

And it’s always with the best of intentions, but really, in all honesty, I’m still not even close to ready for another romantic adventure- even a day-trip!  I got totally TOSSED this last time – and not only was I tossed, I was trampled, squashed, and forgotten about.  Why, oh, why would I get back in the ring now?  It’s still too fresh.  I need more time to forget about the pain before I can even THINK about getting hoodwinked by the fun again.

Perhaps it’s just part of getting older, of having one’s heart broken so many times… of realizing that I keep giving it away to idiots who don’t deserve it (but who I sooo think do at the time)

I don’t want to do any of that again.

I like, SO, don’t want to.

I DON’T WANT TO!!!!

(pant, pant, pant)

So… I appreciate the thought.  I really do.  And if I were you, I’d probably think the same thing -“Oh, Tiffany is such a sweet girl, and she’s got such a big heart…”  But the heart-shop is closed up, and I don’t feel so sweet right now.

Really, you’re doing your “handsome, funny, pretty-good-looking” friend a favor by NOT introducing me right now… I feel like a tornado.  I would probably eat him alive.

* Author admits this attitude may be fleeting and anyone coming across sweet, funny, employed potential who likes cats should probably go ahead and inquire as to present state of Tornado *

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…

In The Daily Drool on February 28, 2010 at 10:12 am

Yes, it’s true.  And I’ve been a cyber-witness to it these past three days.

Remember my post a few days ago about a certain someone posting her philandering ex-fiance’s name and his criminal betrayal, all over Facebook?  Well, she’s been reposting it steadily.  Yes, a daily “In case you missed it, this guy is a total douche!”  I wonder how long the campaign will last?

She’s received several supportive posts along the lines of “Whoa!  What an asshole” and I’m glad that there is a virtual support network getting woven via satellite and cable-modem for her, but wow!  Here be warned, all ye’ potential wrong-doers – the internet is not YOUR friend!

Whoa! Facebook…

In The Daily Drool on February 25, 2010 at 12:13 pm

This morning I woke up early, convinced that the solution to my recent nearly debilitating (okay, I’m exaggerating there) iPhone envy was to go ahead and get one, keeping my Verizon phone as the talky device and the iPhone-ery as the gadget/talker to At&t-ers device.

Yeah.  We’ve already established that my wake-up brain ain’t always the quickest to light.

But I was so taken with the idea that I hopped out of bed at 6:30 a.m. and price checked the masterfulness via internet.  And do you know what?  It’s actually, price-wise pretty close to what I’m already paying to pretend my little LG is a smartphone.  But then, HELLO, I’d be carting around two devices everywhere I went.

Still, I went back to bed convinced that this was the only way to soothe the screaming muse (The muse is also the one that demands impromptu boot purchases and occasional splurges at Cheesecake Factory.  The fact that she’s been privy to neither of these treats for quite sometime due to our present economic meltdown status, has got her all kinds of twitchy.)  Anyway, what was I saying?  Oh, yes, I went back to bed, 15 minutes later still thinking this was brilliant.

Then I got up, went about tackling the MONUMENTAL pile of laundry residing in my hamper/bathroom floor/doorway/you get the picture, and hopped on FB to see what people were up to.  (If I had an iPhone I could do so from the comfort of my laundry plagued bathroom… like it’s so hard to walk the 15 feet to my laptop. Drama queen in action here, folks) And there is was, one of the most mind-blowing facets of being plugged in to your friends ever-blessed-updates…

“My recent ex fiance, NAME OMITTED, had my therapist be the messenger that he was f*cking some married woman.”

(In case you were wondering, she’s got his name up for all to see and shame)

WOW.

Isn’t it just amazing that we can spread the news of our impending graduation, stolen or broken hearts, and what we had for breakfast, with a few taps of the keys?  We press “Post” and all these little tendrils float out into the cyber world, landing on our friends pages – for them to applaud, commiserate, or just take note of.

I don’t know what to say about my friend’s post.  From the seeming silence, neither does anyone else.

But my sympathies go out to her.

And my lusting mind is temporarily distracted from the iWants.