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Posts Tagged ‘cats’

The Bad Kitty Blues

In The Daily Drool on May 15, 2010 at 1:18 pm

My parents and I are currently living with five cats… that’s two more cats than humans.

It’s risky business.

But this morning we discovered that their little boy cat, Ceasar, has been spraying his mark all over the house for quite some time (pre-me +my 2 kitties moving in) and I had the indelible pleasure of helping scrub away at cat urine with bleach, a toothbrush, and some tough rubber gloves.

I think my nostrils are permanently singed…

You see, my parents have cement flooring (it looks like lovely stone though, I had no idea you could do this with concrete) It at least makes for easier clean up; just pour on the bleach and watch it bubble.  YES.  Cat urine + bleach = a foaming, toxic mess that is sure to bring tears to your eyes.  I had no idea, but I almost lost my senses… seriously, I can’t smell anything right now.  They could probably use the combo to create weapons of mass disruption.  Forget smoke bomb, how about a Urine Bomb.  Blech!

Anyway, after all the hidden potty-places were discovered and scoured, I found that I had quite lost any and all respect I once had for Sir Ceasar… and I just hope and pray that my cats aren’t influenced by his bad boy behavior.

Additionally, my parents are concerned that they may have to give him up if he doesn’t stop doing it… any tips on how to nip this problem?

Cat-log

In The Daily Drool on April 7, 2010 at 10:45 am

Day 5

The Humans keep looking at me and making kissy faces like they think it will make everything better.  Don’t they know I don’t have time to for circus tricks?   We’re in enemy territory here, extra vigilance is required at all….  Did you hear that?

Ahh, landscapers.

Okay then.

Where was I?

Oh yes,VIGILANCE!  Not to be mistaken for vigilantes… although some hard and fast cummupance is what’s waiting on the other side of my door if these country cats try to step in unnanounced.  I mean, you look at me, and you look at orange-face, and who’s got the upper hand?  Him?  Because he’s all cutesy, wide-eyed and wouldn’t know his own growl if it met him in the sandbox?  NO.  You can’t be running around fraternizing with the enemy – you’ve got to keep your hackles up, learn to growl while your walking into a room and then plop down like you own it.  Size helps.

I’m huge.

I’m telling you, I don’t know what The Human was thinking bringing us here, but she seems totally oblivious to the danger.  These cats are watching us, they’re crafty, and the little one even smelled my tush without permission!

And I see them, wagging their human claws at me with little tsk, tsks dribbling from their naked lips- the hypocrisy!  When just the other day I saw the Hairy One make The Human move out of his favored spot.  And they say we’re territorial!   I’m just trying to stake out some boundaries… a little place of my own.  Is that too much to ask?

Ahhh, Man!  There Orangey goes again!  Frolicking about with the little cat like they were kittens.  Do I have to do EVERYTHING myself?

Sorry kids, gotta go bust up the party.  It’s Real World time, and these hippie dreamers need some Black Ops training.

Midnite, OUT!

Things I saw along the way

In The Daily Drool on April 4, 2010 at 10:31 am

Let’s talk about the cats…

This is Midnite and Daredevil post-apartment-load-up, pre-cat-load-up…  They each took a shelf in my bathroom cabinet and stayed there all day long praying that their nooks and crannies would come back to them and that the world would once again make sense.  It was adorable and heart breaking at the same time.  Poor little furballs!

This is Midnite in the back seat- she spent a considerable amount of her travel time shedding.  I need to de-fur my car.  She also put in a valiant effort to crawl beneath my feet and mess with the pedals, perhaps thinking if she could just get her paws on the breaks and stop this metallic carriage, all would go back to normal.  Her routine went something like this : Sniff, sniff, lap, hide face, back-seat, hide face, sniff the air conditioner, sleep, sniff, sniff, repeat.  If you’re wondering where Daredevil is, he’s beneath Midnite, under the blankets and curled next to the cooler.  That little guy didn’t move the whole ride over.

I just thought the sunflowers along the edge of the road were pretty…

I thought this sign was hilarious!!!  Good food, Great Coffee, and Unforgettable Women? What kind of establishment is this?  Did I go back in time to the Wild, Wild West?  What do they do that is so “unforgettable”?  There’s a story here, folks, but I was two-cats-two-heavy to stop and figure it out.

And for all you would-be-parents out there, here’s your chance.  You can find ’em at the Hollywood Video in Prescott Valley – Free!

That’s all for today folks…  Thanks for stopping by, and have a Hippity, Hoppity, Lovely, Little Easter!

Sunday “Morning” Hobnobbery

In The Daily Drool on February 28, 2010 at 12:30 pm

Yes, I know it’s past noon, but I’m still in my pajamas and just wrapping up breakfast, so…

~Cats do not need expensive toys.  Nowhere is this more obvious to me than in Midnite’s favorite toy; a dirty old twist-tie (the extra long kind) that she has been carrying around with her for the past SIX years.  Yes, I even packed it up and brought it over with us when we moved.  And I will be bringing it with us to AZ.  This morning I peeled the plastic ring off the milk jug and threw it at Daredevil’s feet to see what he thought?  Instant love.  They’ve been batting it around ALL MORNING.  Lesson?  Celebrate the little things.  I believe this translates to little kids as well.  My parents love to tell me how much I enjoyed playing witht he pots and pans and with cardboard boxes when I was a wee lass… Really, until kids can talk and compare notes with other kids, you could get away with a lot of savings!

– Sometimes I think I have ADD, or ADHD, or, just a really bad multi-tasking obsession.  So far this morning I’ve been bouncing back and forth between returning emails, writing this, eating oatmeal, and playing with the cats and their new toy :  spoonful to mouth, tap the keys, sip of juice, cats, one more sentence, bite of oatmeal, sip of tea, read the news, sip of juice, cats… etc.

– My table looks like a pit.  The desk turned into a pit and I started working at my table more and more – strangely enough this was precipitated by my new found love-affair with my Mac.  The ‘ol PC is not getting the affection it once had, and I feel bad about that.  But it’s like, buried under a mountain of debris! A mountain that has spread over the table near my Mac… perhaps computers breed debris?  Mayhaps they poop it out at night, long after the people are asleep and it’s been working all day, just “Pfffft” – clutter.

-Time for another bite… sip of juice… CATS!

– Sat down to write out a new story idea – a drama – and wrote a pitch for said story idea as a dark comedy.  It just sounds ridiculous and silly every way I write it… perhaps the Muse is on to something here… Oftentimes we sit down with expectations only to find that the truth of the matter is something else entirely.  I don’t quite see the humor in it yet, but the sequence of events does sound funny when put together…  Oh, Muse, I’m listening!

– Finally done with the oatmeal.  And the tea was shlurped up.  And the OJ is gone.  (sigh) I think it’s time to separate myself from the computer for a spell and get myself cleaned up for the day.

“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice!”

In The Daily Drool on February 25, 2010 at 12:00 am

MIDNITE:  “NO.  No, I do not want to play with you right now.  I don’t feel like licking your ears, or your face, or the scruff of your neck.  I don’t want you to jump on, walk by, or come within an inch of touching me.  I don’t think you’re cute laying there like a cat-rug, all curled up and making eyes at me.  I want you to leave me the eff alone and get out of MY patch of sunlight.  Because I’m bigger, I eat more, and I’m THE QUEEN OF THIS CASTLE!”

DD: “Ummm…”

MIDNITE:  “One…”

DD: “I think if you just took a moment to calm down you’d realize that I was here first, and the code of the cat, as laid forth by Sir Cattapus, the father of all, clearly states-”

MIDNITE: “Two…”

DD: “Haven’t you heard of Sir Cattapus?”

MIDNITE: “Three…”

DD: “I think you just spit on me-”

MIDNITE: “Four…”

DD: “How high are you planning on counting?”

MIDNITE:  “I will eat you for breakfast.  I will wear your skin like a coat!”

DD: “On top of yours, or are you proposing a trade?”

MIDNITE: “I WILL FUCK YOU UP!”

silence… silence… and then…

DD: “…I highly doubt that…”

MIDNITE:  “Raaawwwwrrrrrr!”

snarl, hiss, boom, swat, kerthunk.

…pant, pant…

(two minutes later)

Midnite laying in sun.

Alone.

Daredevil licks paws at safe distance.

Midnite relaxes first one eye, then the other.

Daredevil chirps and hops back into the sunlight for round two thousand fifteen.

Daredevil as Hamster?

In The Daily Drool on February 18, 2010 at 12:42 pm

I had weird dreams last night.  Yes, I know, big surprise.

I was running around trying to get people organized, like a sheep dog.  And clutched lovingly in my hand as I was running around, trying to keep kids away from the pool, was a little hamster called Daredevil.

Yes.

I know.

That’s weird.

Because my adorable little snuggle bug of a cat is named Daredevil, and he’s anything but Hamster sized.

And in this dream of mine he was all over fluffy with orange fur and kept squirming out of my hand and into mischief, so that on top of people-wrangling, I was chasing after him.

So I woke up very tired.

And perhaps it’s not all that interesting, but I woke up with Daredevil (the cat) snuggled up right next to me in my bed.

And I was petting him.

This cat has got me petting him in my sleep!

Jedi-mind tricks indeed.

Feline perspective

In The Daily Drool on February 3, 2010 at 3:49 pm

I don’t know WHAT is going on with the human today, but she can’t leave me alone.  Every ten minutes it’s “Who’s the pretty kitty?” kiss, kiss, pat, pat… (sigh) I mean, come ON!  I’m sleeping here!

And it’s not like I’m the only critter around here for fuzzy-snuggling.  Daredevil (or Sir “YIKES” as I like to call him)  lost all control of himself this morning when the human’s friend came by.  I mean, the “knock, knock, knoc” at the door literally scared the crap out of him- I saw it happen!  One minute he’s in the sand box dropping ’em down, the next he’s high-tailin’ it to the closet and leaving his business all up on the ground!  Like, he had to get to the closet so bad that he couldn’t finish what he started in the place he got it started… (sigh)  Now there’s a cat that could use a little extra loving!

But no, no, she’s got to follow me around all day, tickling my feet and touching my ears, and leaning over me with them big eyes of hers… Seriously, someone better give this human a hug or take her to Disneyland or something, cause she’s getting on my last nerve!

Well, I better go.  The human’s giving me the snuggle eyes from across the room and i’m guessing I’ve got about 2.8 seconds to try to get under the bed or behind the couch or something safe.

MEOOOW

Kitty Cat Jedi Mind Control

In The Daily Drool on January 15, 2010 at 4:40 pm

My cat Daredevil is a Lap Master.  As I sit here now, he is perched atop my lap getting his purr on.  What tickles me is how sneaky he can find his way here- I mean, I can be sitting here deep in thought/type and all of a sudden I notice I’m trying to type with one hand because the other is rubbing his little belly.

I’m serious, he’s got tricks!

Kitty Cat mind Control

My cat must be delicious…

In The Daily Drool on November 10, 2009 at 4:20 pm

…because the fleas won’t leave him alone!

Seriously, I was petting the little guy last night and there was ANOTHER DAMN FLEA!  I want to find the flea captain and squish his little head for all the distress those little bastards have caused us this summer.  I wonder why they seem to hunt Daredevil like Thanksgiving day and leave my fat Miss Midnite alone… He must just be delicious.

So I checked the date, sure enough that Frontline was administered nearly thirty days ago to the second!  So I whipped out the last pack and doped the cats up… then I went to the pet store today to get flea powder to dose the patio (since that is the ONLY place I can see them getting him., he is an INDOOR cat, after all and I’m not seeing fleas anywhere else)  So I head out to the patio, broomstick in one hand, flea powder in the other, and I sweep, sweep, sweep, then I sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle, and just as I am turning to open the glass door I see little Miss Midnite meowing at me from behind the glass and I just know- that damn door locked behind me…

And sure enough it did.

So now I am on the patio, cursing the door that latched on it’s own – totally stuck.  So I rattle and curse, and rattle and stomp, but the latch that unloosed itself is apparently easier locked than un-ed.  I pull a chair over, stand on it and hike my ass atop the fence.  I grab hold of the stairs above and swing myself over to the courtyard with a thump, praying I don’t land wrong and damage myself in the process.

I didn’t.

But now what?  Well… Now would be a good time to tell you that I am a great neighbor and I marched on over to Nell and Bill (we share tea on Sundays) and asked them if they had that spare key I gave them for just these kinds of emergencies… But I am a terrible neighbor, a hermit, and I don’t know any of their names.  So I holler in someone’s door and ask if they can call the landlord for me.  No answer.  But the timing works out because my upstairs neighbor (the only one I really have had any conversation with) comes home and lets me use her computer to IM my roomate and ask him to come rescue me.  (Technology has rendered phone number memorization unnecessary.  I could call my house circa 1985 because it is the only phone number I have memorized)

Roomie gets my instant message and rushes home to save me.

I am now inside my apartment, and I am blaming it all on those damned fleas!

 

Snuggle FEST!

In The Daily Drool on October 11, 2009 at 2:19 pm

Maybe it’s the weather… or perhaps they are trying to make up for that unpleasant vet bill last week… but my cats are all up in my business today with snuggle requests.  In fact, Daredevil is sitting next to me, on-chair and practically on-lap, as I type, purring away like a little motorboat.  He’s been so insistant that I pet him today that I am starting to feel like a giant scratching machine… not appreciated for who I am as an individual, but that he loves me only for my belly-rubbing-services.  (sigh) Such behaviors are not limited to Human Males it seems.

But there is something lovely about having pets – they refuse to let you get too down on things because they are always there looking up at you with their innocent little eyes (or so they’d like you to think) reminding you that while your life may be challenging and full of potholes at the moment, they depend on you for nurture and sustenance, so would it be too much bother to GET OFF YOUR ASS AND CLEAN OUT THE CATBOX?

Ahh, yes.

Vet bills?  $145.

Cat Food for the month?  $35.

Being reminded that you are not the center of the universe?  Priceless.