T-to-the-A

The Fun-Time-Hangover

In The Daily Drool on April 13, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I’ve always suffered a day of the blues after any really fun event… as though the regular world is left less sparkly in comparison.  I don’t know why I’m like this, but I do remember feeling as though Thornton Wilder really nailed it when he let poor little Emily have another glimpse at her past after she’s died and the sheer fleeting beauty of it all sent her reeling.

Sometimes I even get overwhelmed by the joy as it’s happening, all too aware that it will eventually come to an end.

Well, this weekend wasn’t anything too riotous, but I did get to spend a lot of time with my family and some old friends, laughing, eating, drinking and just enjoying life.  It was like a little mini vacation for the soul.  And today, as I return to reality and look around once more at the uncertainty I’m swimming in, I just want to crawl back to “then” and laugh it up some more instead.

And while I sincerely hope there are many more of these times ahead, I can’t help but fret over the enormity of the blank, open-endedness in front of me.  Have I made good decisions?  Am I going to make good choices as I proceed ahead?  Will I ever know the feeling of gainful employment again?  Is a loving awesome partnership on its way towards me, or have I completely lost all faith in such things?  I’m not going to wind up a cat lady, am I?  When will I begin again to feel some semblance of balance?

Because I want more of the good times and less of these “ordinary” days built of confusion and anxiety…

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