T-to-the-A

“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice!”

In The Daily Drool on February 25, 2010 at 12:00 am

MIDNITE:  “NO.  No, I do not want to play with you right now.  I don’t feel like licking your ears, or your face, or the scruff of your neck.  I don’t want you to jump on, walk by, or come within an inch of touching me.  I don’t think you’re cute laying there like a cat-rug, all curled up and making eyes at me.  I want you to leave me the eff alone and get out of MY patch of sunlight.  Because I’m bigger, I eat more, and I’m THE QUEEN OF THIS CASTLE!”

DD: “Ummm…”

MIDNITE:  “One…”

DD: “I think if you just took a moment to calm down you’d realize that I was here first, and the code of the cat, as laid forth by Sir Cattapus, the father of all, clearly states-”

MIDNITE: “Two…”

DD: “Haven’t you heard of Sir Cattapus?”

MIDNITE: “Three…”

DD: “I think you just spit on me-”

MIDNITE: “Four…”

DD: “How high are you planning on counting?”

MIDNITE:  “I will eat you for breakfast.  I will wear your skin like a coat!”

DD: “On top of yours, or are you proposing a trade?”

MIDNITE: “I WILL FUCK YOU UP!”

silence… silence… and then…

DD: “…I highly doubt that…”

MIDNITE:  “Raaawwwwrrrrrr!”

snarl, hiss, boom, swat, kerthunk.

…pant, pant…

(two minutes later)

Midnite laying in sun.

Alone.

Daredevil licks paws at safe distance.

Midnite relaxes first one eye, then the other.

Daredevil chirps and hops back into the sunlight for round two thousand fifteen.

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