T-to-the-A

Because I write!

In Playwriting, The Daily Drool on January 6, 2010 at 10:43 am

A friend of mine shivers when he calls and hears that I’ve been at the keyboard all day; he can’t get himself to be quite so… diligent.  And I suppose he looks at my obsession admirably- “She’s so damned focused and dedicated!”  But I feel like the secret behind my seeming dedication is that I’m scared shitless of the alternative.

Even this blog, as interesting/or/not you may find it to be, is a way for me to keep myself in the game… the mindset… of logging those all-important writing hours.

Becuase how can I be a writer if I, well, don’t do it?

Meanwhile, I sit in fear of the alternative- the possibility that I would have spent thousands of hours working and dreaming, and yes, even suffering, for this goal of mine in vain?  HORROR!  So I write. I write A LOT.  I eschew wild nights out and well-paying jobs for creative minutes.  I sit down and work, because I love it, because I feel strange and off balance when I’m gone from it too long, and because it’s what I do… fueled by the ever-ticking clock and the awareness that this thing I’m tackling takes energy, faith, love, and luck.

Because I want to be ready when that magic cocktail strikes the “NOW” hour… you know what I mean?

So, yes, I’m dedicated, but I’m also really, really, really aware of the other side of the cliff I’ve been scaling.  And I want to make sure I don’t fall off!

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  1. Well done. No one wonders why fighters log thousands of hours hitting heavy bags. Maybe, in years to come, blogging will be rightfully viewed as the raw sweat of true writers. 😉

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