T-to-the-A

The 2009 Wrap Up

In The Daily Drool on December 31, 2009 at 10:50 am

Wow.  What a year.  Let’s recap:

January 2009:  Yay!  Hip, hip, hooray!  It’s 2009 and all is (record scratching)  What?  You’re laying me OFF?   Oh.  Fuck.

February:  Hmmm, If I have a job lined up for March 1st, does that mean I can take this month to write?  I think so… Hey, diddle, diddle dee, that’s a whole month of writing for me… Oh, what?  Valentines Day?  That’s for suckers… I mean, maybe I’m a bit of a sucker too… but I don’t have… I mean, I kind of had… Oops, no, no I don’t.  Shit.  (sigh) Stupid Cupid.

March:  Yay, Yay, I’m getting paid to make snacks for The Colony crew, and writing, and… trying not to loose my mind because I don’t know what I’m doing after this… GAH!!!  Wait, dad is sick again?  SHIT!  (Have complete mental breakdown pondering life, its fleeting nature, and how terrifying love can really be)

April:  Snack-time at The Colony is wrapping up… how many bags of ham and tortilla chips do you think I can sneak out of here with before anyone notices?   Well, if I bring some to my sick dad in San Diego is it alright?  No?  Jeez, Scrooges!  (sigh)  At least he’s getting better.  And I didn’t have to buy groceries for two months.

May:  Umm, so, hey, CA EDD, can I get back on the unemployment?

June:  Going to be working in a few weeks.  If. I. Can. Just. Keep. It. Together…

July:  Teaching at UCLA performing arts institute!  Best Job EVER!  Love the kids, love the classes, love the paycheck!   Love it, love it, love it!  This is what I’m supposed to be doing (in addition to writing)  I am so happeeeeeeeeeee… wait a minute… It’s only for a month?!  (sigh)  Shit!

August:  I’m going to D.C. with my play!  It’s gonna’ be at the Kennedy Center!  Yay!  Big time, yippee!  I feel like a playwright, I am a playwright … I am a playwright who can’t pay her bills because her unemployment just ran out… WTF?!

September:  Heartbreak.  HEARTBREAK.  Teaching Acting on Saturdays and working for the Rand Corp. between sob sessions.  Buy stock in Kleenex, make millions…

October:  Alright!  I’m turning 31, get rid of that nasty zero… that’s what 30 was, a zero year!  Ran down to the nub… 31 is gonna’ be better, I can feel it, I can feel….

November:  Oh, SHIT!  I’m so out of money I’m gonna’ have to move home… No more time to be depressed or heartbroken, I gotta find a way to EAT!   Wait, what?  You’re gonna’ pay me to write a screenplay for you?  Hell, yes I’m interested!  (disaster averted… for now)

December:  Writing, writing, writing!  And brushing up my bartending chops.  And heart is on the mend, even smiled at cute boy smiling at me over zuchini tray at grocery store.  Financially distressed, resorting to box-dye and personal bang-trimming in bathroom, instituted new “You bought it, you eat it ALL” policy for all items, including really old bread that hasn’t grown any mold but almost broke tooth, and fought off monster cold that threatened to turn me into giant, gooey, undateable, unhireable, blob from outer space.   Prayed to GOD, that 2010 is better.  Wrote this.  Got dressed for New Years Eve, hoping 2010 rushes in on the wings of love and prosperity.  Don’t feel selfish asking for the things I want/need/deserve.

Last words to messy ‘ol 2009?  You were a totally unbalanced, crazy, and painful little bitch, but I’m probably (however unwillingly) stronger for it, so, thanks for the good stuff, and get on out of my sight with the bad!

2010?  I hope you got your shit together, because you and me, baby, we’re gonna’ shine!

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  1. Hear, hear. Let’s cheer to 2010, and all the ways it’ll be better than 2009.

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