F@#! (or) How the LA Superior Court Made me Crap my Pants

In The Daily Drool on December 1, 2009 at 3:46 pm

So, I left the good ‘ol AZ yesterday with a cooler full of Turkey left-overs and a touch of the Holiday spirit.  The drive over went smoothly and I landed at my apartment feeling pretty good.

Then I checked my mail.

And there, amongst the Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons and the “Send us your nickels!” pleas from the Red Cross, were TWO, count ’em, TWO terrifying letters from the LA Superior Court.  One in yellow.

Remember that “Fix-it” ticket I got a while back that was so easy to take care of?  Well, turns out the idioot opening the mail over there pulled out my check and threw out the Certification, or some other such scenario because on November 23rd the LA Superior Court suspended my licence and issued a bail amount of $811 for a failure to appear!   (yellow letter, yes I opened that one first!)

I had to sit down.

The next envelope I opened held a letter issued November 25th telling me that I was supposed to send certification of the corrected mechanical failure and they were returning my check until I did so- my due date was extended to Dec. 11th.

So I spent the next 30 minutes hyperentilating and on hold  with the traffic violations office, waiting for SOMEONE TO EXPLAIN just what the F@#! had happened and how the hell I was supposed to proceed!!!

The women who finally answered my call explained that the bail notice was a mistake, but yes, I would have to obtain new certification about that headlight.


So, I got up this morning and surrendered two and half more hours of my life to this stupid, stupid ticket.  And yes, the CHP officer was again very nice, but the Municipal Courthouse holds no luster for me.  It takes forever to get in to the building and it’s interior is as about as welcoming as… well… most government buildings I suppose.  But as I stood in line, looking around at the ugly tile and flourescent lighting, I just KNEW that there was no way I would have EVER been a happy lawyer.  Not only are there too many rules and regulations to memorize/decipher, but the dreariness of that place and the miserable people in it?  Ugh!

So, ticket is paid, I even have a lovely little receipt to prove it.  And I’m once again square with the courts.

But I think, considering the number of heart palpitations I suffered over all of this, that it’s pretty clear I won’t be entertaining any life of crime any time soon… or ever.

And I certainly won’t be driving with one headlight!

  1. I absolutely feel your pain!

    I got a similar fix-it ticket (brake light bulb blown on the car I was driving) and mailed it off with a similar… that wasn’t so bad feeling. Fast forward 1 month to my yellow failure to appear notice and $791 bail.

    I scheduled a court date, b/c the non-too-nice woman at the courthouse did not recognize the mistake (despite my copies of both the certification and the check that were mailed). From here the story moves on to…

    1) an incorrectly scheduled court date
    2) one very frustrated gina who was unable to change the date via phone
    3) a courthouse administrator who gave me her cell phone # when i was unable to get anyone on the phone number given me with the court date, but who subsequently refused to answer the phone
    and finally…
    4) a warrant for my arrest!!!

    OVER A FIX-IT TICKET!!! Seriously?!

    I was in school in Boston for most of this time unable to stomp down to the LA Superior Courthouse whenever necessary and thus suffered any number of anxiety/heart attacks.

    In the end, the administrator woman finally corrected the warrant for my arrest and I was able to go to court to again show proof of the fix-it ticket without my needing to serve hard time. All the same, I might have to run from the next bicycle cop that tries to stop me for a blown break light bulb. It couldn’t been any more hassle than dealing with the fix-it ticket!

    P.S. I got my original confirmation back in the mail about 5 months later. They didn’t recognize the officer’s signature (uh, really?) and apparently tossed it aside for a few months before mailing it back. Nice, huh?

  2. Holy-Holy!

    Proof that you need and deserve something very nice to happen to you, like, STAT!

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