T-to-the-A

Snuggle Bug

In The Daily Drool on November 5, 2009 at 12:05 pm

Somedays, no matter your status, you simply crave a comfortable place to curl up and breathe.

I’ve been having a TOUGH time of it lately, and yesterday was the first day in a loooong time that I felt I had permission to relax.  It was such a foregin concept that I spent most of my “relaxation” worrying I’d forgotten something important.  So I was only at the beach for about an hour before I decided that I might as well come back home and do some writing or something, since relaxing wasn’t in my bones.  And I did get some more work done- then I slept for 13 hours!   The relaxation finally arrived.

But in all of it I kept yearning for a certain pair of arms to burrow into… a pair of arms that do not exist for me anymore, and yet I can’t stop missing them.  I mean, I’m not missing them all the time– I’ve definitely passed that depressing marker- but I haven’t reached such a distance yet that I think of them disdainfully, or with unbridled scorn.  Rather, I think of them with a sadness – knowing that they aren’t here for their own reasons, but I still love the way they felt wrapped round me… So, it makes sense (I think) that in a day where I just wanted to find some safety against which to lean for a while, I mourned there abscence.

Because I loved those arms.

(sigh)

Perhaps a new pair are waiting for me closer than I think?   (But would I even have the strength of heart to try them out?)

I sure slept just fine last night on my own.

But sometimes, especially for a girl who celebrates the love and friendship in her life, you wonder why oh why it is that you’re still having to find and maintain your own “safe place to relax” all on your own…

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  1. can i get an “AMEN!”???

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