T-to-the-A

Chocolate and Cherubs

In Dating, Essays, The Daily Drool on June 2, 2009 at 10:04 pm

Ahhhh, love.  Or, something akin to love… is that lust?  Or need?  Or maybe it’s just a case of the wants… It’s just all so confusing, isn’t it?  It seems that everywhere I turn, people are wrestling with the concept, and it’s making me feel, well, a little less confused.

Because, if the majority of us are confused about Love, then maybe it’s not us that’s the problem.  Maybe it’s the very nature of Love itself.

Many people equate Love with the devine, claiming that true love is as close to experiencing God as we can get – and if that’s the case, you’ve got to shrug your shoulders at our apparent ineptness.  I mean, we can feel it, we can swell with it, but surely we can’t beat ourselves up too badly for botching it if to truly understand it puts us in His shoes…

Because we mortals seem destined to screw it up.  We worry too much, or not enough, we neglect our hearts, we bury our feelings too deep, or we lift them so close to the sun that they burn to a crisp.  

We just don’t know what to do with it, so we keep trying, trying, trying…  and hoping that one day we will get it “right.”

But what if Love isn’t a thing to be gotten.  What if the key is in letting go.  In floating…

Then all the time we spend singing about it, crying over it, and hiding from it is for naught – because it will get us anyway.  It will swoop in and upset the balance no matter our opinion on the matter.

I’ve been thinking  a lot lately that I don’t want anything to do with the beast… but I know, with thunder, that this heart of mine will never shut up.  That it will continue to drive me towards those who set off sparks.  I know that it will continue to believe in its potential even as I do not.  I know that my mind is not the controller of this vessel, it is merely its faithful advisor.

So I take solace in the crowded waters I swim… I relax amidst the many who feel as I do – that Love is a particularly mischievous imp who plays by some very ill-refined rules.  

And I hope that one day, this Love thing and I will reach an agreement.

But in the mean time: Chocolate!

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