Control Yourself…

In Essays, The Daily Drool on May 29, 2009 at 9:55 am

…because that’s the only thing you have control over.  

It seems the more people I talk to, or the more writers I talk to at least, that just about everyone is trying to control their control issues.  We’re all getting caught up in the currents, and realizing (as we break free from the University nest) that there really isn’t that much we get a say in, except whether or not we want to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  We choose a path, set out upon it,  and have to keep the faith that we’ve chosen well.  That we’ll be able to wisely handle that which we will encounter along the way.  But other than the one-foot-in-front-of-the-other-ness and our attitude about the impending bumps, we are completely NOT in control.

And that’s a hard thing to swallow.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, what with the current whirlpool I’m battling, and I’ve really come to the conclusion that I feel safest when I have something secure to hang on to.  This presents a big problem when everything seems to be twirling around me.  So I’ve been harnessing that panicky feeling into my writing, and feeling a lot better for it.  

Because I think of it like this – Everything is crazy right now and I can’t do anything to change that.  But I can control how much time I spend worrying about the crazy.  And if I think about it, I don’t really want to spend any time on crazy, so why not take those moments and devote them to something constructive?  Why not create something rather than more stress?  

So I’ve completed a rewrite and wrapped up a play, and that is cause for celebrating!  That is a nice little patch of sunshine in the storm.

And the rest of it… well, it’s going to solve itself, or not… but all I can do is take care of myself in the meantime.  All I can do is try to prepare, to endeavor to continue on my path and hope that eventually the ground will stabilize and I’ll be able to look up and out once again.


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