Food, Glorious Food!

In Essays, The Daily Drool on March 26, 2009 at 4:31 pm

Alright, admit it, you love to eat.  

You should love to eat.  

Aside from serving the basic function of fueling our energy driven bodies, food is one of the greatest and simplest sources of pleasure in life.   So it’s no wonder we agonize over what it is we put in our mouths.  It’s no wonder that one of the most popular methods of courtship involve “Getting a bite to eat”. And  it’s no wonder that sometimes we over do it and end up having to buy bigger pants…  But my point is this:  Food, glorious food, is meant to be enjoyed.

So why, then, do some insist on turning it into a chore?  An agonizing process of martyrdom that leaves everyone around you fleeing the dark cloud you carry with you to the table?  

I recently had the pleasure of encountering one such person – let’s call him Mr. Hungry.  Mr. Hungry is always hungry because he’s always eating nuts and other things that naturally fall off of plants, haven’t been cooked, or processed, and have names I can’t pronounce, and don’t satisfy or leave you feeling full.  Ever.  Does he do it because he’s the victim of some sort of serious allergies?  No.  Does he have moral objections to inhuman animal processessing?  Probably.  But, and I may be stepping out on a limb here, I think that Mr. Hungry’s real impetus for suffering is the attention he gets from his loud, rumbling, miserable tummy.  

You see, Mr. Hungry can’t suffer in silence.  He has to tell everyone around him how woeful his very limited options are.  He has to poo-poo the items on everyone elses plates… I’m on the verge of poo-pooing Mr. Hungry! 

Because Mr. Hungry needs to fill the empty spaces in his gut with the attention (misinterpreted antipathy) of his audience.

Meanwhile, I’m over here reveling in the absolute heaven that is a chocolate dipped strawberry and not feeling the least bit guilty.

  1. Very nice. I love eating, it’s just that sometimes food doesn’t love me… 🙂

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