Mt. Everest…

In Essays, Playwriting, The Daily Drool on March 12, 2009 at 9:02 pm

It’s been a weird couple of months in my little world… graduating (finally) with an MFA in playwriting may have seemed an inspired path, but as I sit here pondering how to transition from  “Emerging” playwright to, well, someone who actually gets paid to write, the enormity of the mountain before me is starting to sink it.

Choosing the life of the artist is never going to be easy -many are plagued by personal demons, bill-collectors, dangerous addictions – Yet it’s this “living on the edge” that gives us our unusual perspectives.  A perspective that allows us to look towards humanity from our distant and unique corner, and comment on it.  Whether it be through song, word, paint, film… we artists live along the fringe.

And the fringe is well… not the easiest of places to dwell.

The lows can be dreadfully lonely, dark, and frightfully bumpy, but the highs are so damn high that moving inland rarely crosses our mind.  

I’m a goal-setter.  I like to see the hurdles before me so I can figure out when best to jump.  So far, that has worked well for me.  I’ve met a lot of deadlines in order to complete a series of degrees on my way to…  Well, where am I going?  “Success” is as fuzzy to me as the color of hydrogen… because I know that I want to write, to make my living writing, and I would love to get to teach along the way…  But it’s all residing at the top of this mist-drenched mountain, leaving me staring into the vast ye’ unknown thinking (Gulp) “How will I know when to leap, when to duck, and when the get the eff out of the way?”  

For the hurdles in front of me are not clearly marked “This way to success”.  This thing that I’ve elected to do is HUGE, and, to be honest, I was looking forward to a little ease and relaxation after all these years of battling my way to the grad-school finish line.  

Well, HA- HA!  

That was just the warm-up.

In a world that is rife with competition, I’m left to take stock, (take a deep breathe), make sure I’ve got my running shoes on, and hope to the powers that be that I have the strength, the wisdom, and the tenacity to get myself where I’m trying to go.

Because I love it.  I love this craft, this artform, and writing floods me with such a feeling of bliss (when it’s going well) that I feel I could survive on words alone…  It’s this love that fuels the ascent, and it’s this love that I must protect and carry.


But damn, a map sure would be nice!


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